God is.. all knowing

Sharing time with Andrijana, a very special friend

Most of us are familiar with the verse from Jeremiah 29:11--"'For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

I remember the first time I was introduced to this verse. See, I was taught the Bible from a very young age. Through my church growing up, I participated in quiz bowl type events about particular Bible verses, but this was not a verse I was ever taught. In reality, I did not become familiar with many of the comforting words of God until after I started college. The first time I read Jeremiah 29:11 was when a good friend of mine gave me a card that was full of her favorite encouraging Bible verses. For some reason, this one has always stood out.

Have you ever had those days/weeks/months/years where you feel like you're moving blindly through life? I've experienced this feeling--going through the motions with no clear expectation of the results. However, it felt as though something was pushing me in a certain direction. Coming out on the other side is always humbling. You know, when you realize that God did know what He was doing after all. I think God uses these moments to strengthen my faith.

Most recently, this experience came through a mission trip to Varaždin, Croatia. About a year ago, a family from church returned from a two week trip visiting a congregation that the Manhattan Church of Christ supports.

Immediately upon their return, I felt a pull in my heart to do mission work. At that time, I had no idea where or what I was supposed to do, I just knew that I needed to spend a great deal of time in prayer about God's plans for me. So that's what I did. I started praying, and by the end of the year, Croatia was the answer provided to me. This was a defining moment in the many tests my faith has encountered over the years.

This wasn't practical! I'm a graduate student living on a graduate student budget. Where was the money going to come from? Flying to Europe is definitely not cheap, and I have never been great at budgeting for the long term.

Answer #1: A space was opened in the Financial Peace University class being offered through my church. Through what I learned and various donations received during this initial decision-making phase, I was able to set aside enough money to purchase a plane ticket.

Answer #2: Through outside donations from various fundraisers and a letter writing campaign, the remainder of our trip budget was covered.

It just got better from there. There were many people who doubted my ability to go on this trip. At one point, even their doubt caused me to question whether this was anopportunity God had laid before me or something that was my will only. This tormented me. It's hard to know that people don't believe in you, and it's especially hard to hear from others that by me making this decision to go to Croatia I was putting others in a precarious position. There were times when my thoughts turned to what I needed to do in order to prove those people wrong as opposed to what I needed to do in order to glorify God. However, there were a few key people (including those people whom I was told I was putting in a precarious position) who either said A) I believe in you or B) I believe in God enough to know that he wouldn't lead you somewhere you shouldn't be.

One thing that did not falter throughout this decision-making time was my willingness to remain in prayer about everything that was happening. Through that, I continued to feel this same strong pull--like my heart was already in Croatia waiting for me to meet up with it again. Finally, one day, I said a very different prayer asking God to provide me with a peace about this decision if it was, in fact, His will. I don't know if any of you have ever experienced God's immediate answer to a prayer, but I can say that I have now. The minute I uttered those words, I felt a wave of comfort come over me. It was a very physical experience, as I often experience emotions very physically. Imagine a shower of an analgesic pouring down over a hurting body. The anxiety and fear about my decision were suddenly non-existent. While they reared their ugly heads a few times between saying that prayer in March and landing in Zagreb in June, I innately knew what to do to relieve them.

Laura, Kristin, Matt, Molly, Rachel, Ray, and Jonathon

So on June 9, 2010, our group of 7 climbed onto a jet bound for Croatia (well, bound for New York then Prague then Croatia :). You can read about our trip here. From the moment we landed in Zagreb until the moment we landed back in Kansas City, I was never faced with the fear and doubt and anxiety that I had before the trip (and really for years before). Every morning that I woke up at Spomenka's home, I was humbled a little bit more by the reminder that God does, in fact, know exactly what He's doing. I've said it before, and I'll say it again.. God does not screw up.

Spomenka, also a very special friend