Willingness

Willingness-means by which one deliberately chooses or decides upon a course of action with commitment

"WANT leads to a CHOICE, which leads to COMMITMENT.
SHOULD leads to a DECISION, which leads to SACRIFICE."

For those of you who know where I am, this is for you. For those of you who don't, you might learn more about me than you ever wanted to know. This was my journal entry for the day, and I wanted to share with those of you who love, care, and support me in my every day life. I want you to be encouraged by my progress and realistic of where I am now.


"What is my willingness to recover?"

To me, willingness means motivation followed by supporting action. My motivation to recover is very high and has been for quite some time; however, my willingness, I believe, has been lacking because I have not made a conscious decision to follow through with positive actions. My willingness now is very high, but I cannot say that I am fully recovered. I am forced to think about those things that I really WANT in order to recognize what CHOICE I need to make in order to make a COMMITMENT to recover and not feel as though I am SACRIFICING part of myself for anyone else.


"What do I want?"


I WANT to be strong in my spirituality and faithful in my reliance on God.
I WANT a better life for myself.
I WANT to love my family and friends more than I love what my disease can do for me.
I WANT to have a job that I love and is fulfilling to me.
I WANT to accept my body as a vehicle for my soul.
I WANT to be transparent in every facet of life.
I WANT my family and friends to know how grateful I am for their presence in my life.
I WANT to be in active recovery.

It may seem like a short list, but I am a simple person. I had to really think about those things that I have been telling myself I should do and those things that I really want to do. That is the list of true WANTS that I want to support by action. Any of you who want to know how you can support me, you can remind me of this list and the need for active choice it requires in order to make a true commitment and to show true willingness. Love you and miss you all. I will be home soon.. this is just a small moment in the long life ahead of me.