God is.. a provider

I have been given the task of coming up with a list of what God is to me. I am trying to challenge those things that God used to be to me.. vengeful, angry, condemning. I want to fully accept the God that I have come to believe is unconditionally loving, gracious, and merciful. Over the past week, this is what has struck me the most. When I was struggling with the decision to move back to Manhattan, Kimmery asked me a really poignant question. She asked, "Do you have faith in God as a provider to move back without a job lined up?" While I'm not entirely sure that was what God was asking me to do, it definitely made me think about my faith in God as a provider. At that time, I can honestly say that I did not have a very strong faith in God being willing or able to provide for someone who quit their job to rely on others. Moving back to Manhattan was a decision made for my health, but I didn't feel like I could do that without having health insurance and a steady income. So.. God provided me a job that would cover both. Since that day, God has proven himself a provider in so many ways. I guess you could say that his provision of certain things would be a list in itself. Over the past 2 months God has provided a steady income, comfort, peace, an amazing support system, and really.. overall.. the time and space to heal. I have seen God's ability to provide for others so far beyond me. At work, God is comforting my peers who have been laid off or are accepting job changes.

Today, God did something that blew me away. It sounds silly, but those of you who really know me.. know that I love to shop. I could shop for hours upon hours. I refer to it as "retail therapy." However, there are things in my life that my finances could be better spent supporting. This weekend, after a great deal of prayer, I donated a total of $157 to different missions/charities that are very meaningful to me. I don't tell you the amount to tote on myself.. I am telling you the amount to tell you how amazing God is. This morning I woke up, and on the counter there was an envelope from the YMCA of Greater KC. Inside was a check for $157.50. I called the Y to find out why they sent me a check.. I was pretty sure they had screwed up. Let's just say God does not screw up. The Y said they had withheld too much from a couple of previous paychecks, and this is what they owed me. Man, not only did God give it back.. he gave it back with interest! It's funny.. because now I'm like.. who am I supposed to give this money to? Thanks to Lauren, I was reminded that I don't have to give it all away.. I can share a portion and invest the remainder.

So that's my story on God as a provider for tonight. There is so much more that he has provided in the last 72 hours.. ask me.